Earring.

I wasn’t even inside yet and I was already a mess. My earring was nowhere to be found. I suppose I could take the other one out, then at least I wouldn’t look crazy. I would anyway; no one knew who I was.
“Excuse me, Miss? Are you alright?” I looked up and saw a handsome young man smiling down at me.
“I’ve lost my earring.” I said weakly as I stood. His smile widened. “Why are you smiling at me like that?” His beaming face was unwavering. I began to blush, feeling suddenly exposed. Without a word he ever so gingerly plucked the earring from my hair. I smiled too. “Thank you.” I said as I put slipped it back on my ear. He nodded, and with that he was gone.
I took a deep breath and headed toward the funeral home. I wore black just as everyone else did, but I sat in the back alone, hoping no one would see me. As I thought about it I realized I would probably be more inconspicuous if I was at least sharing a row with someone. I wouldn’t look out of place then. Hesitating for a moment, I got up silently and changed seats.
It was quiet. No one I could see looked sad exactly. They looked annoyed. One man checked his watch, another was texting away, and I think I saw someone reading a news paper inside of his bible. If only he could still hear us. They could all yell at him. ‘How dare you up and die! Taking away a perfectly good Saturday afternoon from all of us!’
That’s right, how dare he die. How dare he just leave me like that. How dare he make me love him. My eyes began to well. I gazed at the casket, glad it was closed. I didn’t want my last image of him to be that. I thought of the last time we were together.
We met for lunch at some random café. I chattered on incessantly as always, and he smiled and listened. Enjoying the few stolen moments we had. As we waited for the bill, I moved my chair closer to his so I could rest my head on his shoulder. He stroked my hair and softly whispered to me. We had sat there for a long time like that. He was late getting back to work. Again…
The silence was broken as someone stepped out from behind a curtain on the platform where the casket was. A hushed murmur swept across the crowd like a monsoon. As he walked by the coffin he put a firm hand on it and paused for a moment. He turned toward the podium and I saw who it was. It was the young man who had found my earring before. He must have gone in through a side door. The undertaker perhaps? I held my breath, waiting for him to speak.
“Thank you for coming today.” He said quietly into the microphone. He paused for a long moment, too long. “Sorry” His voice was horse. “My father was a good man.” He choked back another sob. His father. He took a deep breath, and continued with his memorial. Now completely composed. As he spoke his words melted away. My eyes burned.
When he came to the platform I thought he was the funeral director, and when we were outside -I couldn’t think about it. The man in the casket was his father and my lover. That’s probably why his smile was so comforting to me. It wasn’t his smile, it was his fathers. The smile I had grown to love, the smile I already missed. He rambled on.
I studied his features carefully. I knew he was only a few years younger than me, but I had never seen him before, not even a picture. I had never seen any of his family. That was the way I wanted it. I couldn’t have been with him if I had the image of the family I was destroying in my head. It had to just be about him and I. That was the way I liked it.
I touched my face, I was crying. I didn’t even realize. When I stood to go to the restroom no one looked up, no one even flinched. No one except his son. He locked eyes with me for a hard second. My heart jumped, I was like a deer caught in headlights. He didn’t keep me there long; he blinked and looked away after what seemed like forever.
All I could hear was the sound of his voice echoing behind me, chasing me away. I shouldn’t have come here. I locked the door to the bathroom behind me. I pressed the face against the cool wood of the door, and tried to calm down. My mind was racing. I could hear the muffled voice through the pine. I slid to the floor, collapsing into myself. I started to sob. I cried for all of the days I would never have with him, and all the days I took for granted. I would never feel his tender touch again, or be able to lean into him, breathing him in deeply.
The single muffled voice grew into many, and people began to walk past the door to leave. I stayed put. I couldn’t leave with all those people out there, not looking the way I did. It would be fine until they asked me how I knew him. And even if I could think of a clever quick lie, there would be no excuse for my extremely puffy eyes and red face.
After a while it quieted down. I waited a little longer after that. Plenty of time for the stragglers and close family members to leave. I stood up slowly, and smoothed out my dress. Taking a step toward the mirror, I stopped. It didn’t matter what I looked like, there was nothing that could be done about my tear stained face. Looking at my reflection now would just prevent me from leaving the porcelain room. Peeking out of the door I couldn’t see a soul wandering the corridor. I proceeded with caution. I just needed to do what I came here to do and then leave.
As I stepped up onto the platform I could feel my eyes welling again. Taking a deep breath I moved painfully toward the casket. My heart was pounding out of my chest and all I could think of was running away. I could right now, I could abandon him just like he abandoned me. But I didn’t, I didn’t because he wouldn’t have. If he could, he would be there right next to me. He was in a sense.
I ran my hand across the smooth wood, and shuttered. It was stained a rich brown color, made to look like a better quality wood than it actually was. Pine, I thought. The cheapest lumber you could buy, why not just give him a cardboard box to rest eternally in.
The note I had written was everything I couldn’t tell him now. He probably had known them all, every last one of them. Although I had the habit of talking too much, the things I said didn’t always mean that much. What a fool I was. I could have told him anytime I liked. Told him that I loved him, and the way he loved me. It told him I was sorry for all the things I never said. Which too many people would make no sense. How could one be sorry for the things one never said? If you never said anything, no one would know the different… he would. I let out a loud sob.
“What are you doing here?!” A raspy voice from behind me called. I gasped and slipped the note under the edge of the flowers on top of the coffin. I knew who it was behind me. I swallowed hard and turned to face her. I had never seen his wife before. There was raw fury in her eyes. Despite my best effort she knew who I was. I didn’t need to fight her, or defend myself or my choices. There was nothing left to fight for. He was gone.
I stepped down from the platform, and headed for the door. Her eyes dug deeper into me with every stride. As I passed her, her hand shot out and grabbed my arm. She clamped down.
“Burn in hell.” She whispered loudly.
“Mom, what’s going on here?” It was him again, my handsome stranger, her loyal son. Her and I both paused and looked at him. I ripped my arm from her iron grip and walked briskly toward the exit. As I reached the front steps I heard a voice call out. I stopped. I don’t know why though. “Who are you?” He said breathlessly. I didn’t move or say a word. I wasn’t sure I had any left. “Who are you?” he said again much more harshly. I turned then and looked him right in the eye.
“I don’t think you really want to know that.”
“I don’t ask questions unless I want to know the answer.”
“I loved your father.” Silence. “I’ll go.”
“You selfish, bitch. How dare you come here in the first place.” He bellowed.
“Selfish? Selfish?! I’m not the selfish one. Your mother is the selfish one!” I knew I had gone too far. I was wrong about not having anything to defend.
“My mother is a proud, strong woman!”
“You want to talk about pride? As she sat there today listening to your words did she shed a tear for him?” I looked away, holding back another sob.
“You don’t know anything!” he screamed, losing composure.
“Today was about him, not her! Today she was selfish and only care about what others would think of her. Foundation and mascara stains aren’t exactly becoming. I loved him with every ounce in me and every tear I shed today showed that!” I hadn’t even realized I was crying until I felt the water droplets slip down my collar.
“You stole him away from her. How could you expect her to be mournful?” He was quieter now, defenses weakening.
“I didn’t steal him.” I nearly whispered. “He was already gone when I met him.” There was silence again. It was deafening. “I never asked or expected him to leave her, and he never took away time that I knew belonged to you. I wouldn’t have that. He loved you more than anything in the world and I could never damage such a precious thing.”
“It's just not right…” he trailed off.
“I know, it wasn’t right, but you never knew of me until today. Your father was a good man; he loved and took very good care of his family. You can’t fault him for wanting some personal happiness. Everyone deserves it.” With him completely disarmed I turned and left.
As I walked away I hoped his son would someday find happiness just like he had with me. But not with stolen moments and at the cost of others feelings. Just him and the one he loved. Lasting forever, everyday feeling brand new.

Hurricane.

She told me that he was shy, overly shy in fact. So shy that if I were to make direct eye contact for too long he would blush profusely and possibly leave the room. That day I noticed he kept stealing glances at me, just to see I’m sure. He was curious about me, as was everyone else in the room. Someone new, someone no one had ever met before. We had talked about what I might do when I met him, something very subtle. The one we had settled on was a simple hand shake. I was going to meet him and reach out to shake his hand, and as I took his hand in mine, I would slip my other hand over his hand and to his wrist, rubbing ever so tenderly. Just enough to make him uncomfortable, to make him want to pull away. But she said he wouldn’t, he was too polite to just rip his hand from mine. As I observed him that day, I changed my mind about wanting to make him squirm. Almost every person who encountered him did. The one boy who she said reminded her of me did more then anyone else. I wasn’t going to do that. I was kind, and kept my distance, even though normally that isn’t in my nature. Remember, everyone is fighting a hard battle, so be kind. Those words rung out in my mind that day, his battle happened to be more obvious then most others, so being kind to him was that much easier.

Myles, Twenty-Two.

The next morning I woke up to find Malinda back in her cot. Was it all a dream? Did she never leave, was I wrong? I then decided to stay awake that night and wait to see if she left again. I would stay up every night if I had to, I needed to know where she went.
The day dragged on and on, like it knew I was waiting for night to fall. But finally it did and Malinda and I both crawled into our beds, said our goodnights and both went to sleep. Well, she did... maybe. I turned my back to her and did my best to stay awake. About an hour into my stake out I heard her stirring. She moved about through the room for a few minutes and then left. That was my queue to get up and fallow after her. I could only guess where she was going...
I stole out of my room into the stairwell silently. I stood there for a moment and listened carefully. From what I could hear she was heading for the steps to the first floor. Quickly I raced down the stairs and waited in the hall for the sound of the door. Luckily for me the front door squeaks.
I went into the bathroom and sat on the window sill. Luck must of really been on my side that night, because the moon was full and washed blue light over everything. Including her running in the darkness over to the path leading to my tree. Down it she ran, every step quicker then the last, twice she nearly fell but regained her balance both times and continued on until I couldn't see her anymore. That’s when I made my move.

Myles, Twenty-One.

The next week went by horribly slow. Sometimes it felt as though minutes turned into hours, so you can only imagine how long a day must of felt to me. We spent time together everyday for a while, until we got sick of each other and went our separate ways. Which was fine with me, more then three or four hours at a time with her was too much. Her endless chatter and mindless story were enough to make anyone with half a brain scream for mercy. I also found it odd she didn't once go see Myles. Nor did he come to see her. They seemed to have had such a great interest in each other before.
At the end of week one her wonderful visit I woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream. The dark clouds were looming over head again, I could feel it. I gazed at Malinda’s cot, it was empty. I waited up for hours and hours for her. She didn't come back from where ever she was. Soon lead coated my eye lids and I was fast asleep.

Myles, Twenty.

I couldn't stand it anymore, one more minute of there banter would of sent me over the edge. I turned and away I went. The house seemed like the place to go, but instead I ran behind the house. I hadn't been behind there in such a long time. I guess I stopped going behind there when I no longer found the swing set amusing. I walked over to the pile welded steal - possibly now a death trap- and sat down on a swing. Things weren't going the right way at all. I had it all planned, it look so wonderful in my head. What went wrong already? I lowered my head in defeat. We were just too different now, I had to realized that.
I heard something and glanced up. It was Malinda. She looked upset. What she was upset about what beyond me. Men were throwing themselves at her feet here, she had an already wonderful life back where she lived. What could she possible be feeling bad about? "Cindy, can I come swing with you?" she said in a small voice. "It's a free country." I said and looked back at the ground. "Cindy, I know you are mad. We both should have left when you said, it wasn't right of me to stay. I am your guest, I have to remember that." I was silent, "These swings have a lot of memories," she continued "we had a lot of fun on these swings. Hours and hours of pumping our legs to reach the impossible goal of flying over the top of the bar." She sighed deeply "Things aren't going to be the exact same, you and I both know that. We like different things now and have both changed," she pause and looked my way, "a lot. We will just have to stand each other for the next couple of weeks. And hey, if we get sick of each other we can just do our own thing. This place is huge it shouldn't be hard to do." she was right, whether we wanted to or not, we had to get along for weeks to come.

Myles, Nineteen.

We were about to pass Myles house. My heart beats accelerated, and so did I. I walked faster hoping to get that house out of my sights with out any trouble. Malinda fallowed right along side me, and unfortunately for me so did the source of my anguish. Myles stood on the far side of his house. I try to pass quickly, not looking at him. Malinda on the other hand wouldn't pass by as willingly. "Who is that?" She said, her eyes widening. "No one lets just keep walking." I looked at Myles for a moment. He had a big grin on his face, and when he saw the look of terror in my eyes, it grew bigger and his eyes became dark.
"Cindy! Cindy! Wait up!" I didn't wait of course, but Malinda did. Forcing me to stop too. "What do you want Myles?" I said as he approached. "I just wanted to say 'Hi'," he said in a shocked tone, "And to see who your friend is." he flashed Malinda a winning smile, and raising one eyebrow in curiosity. She shot him a flirtatious grin back. "I'm Malinda," she said stepping forward and putting out her hand ever so slightly, forcing him to step even closer to her to shake her hand. I thought she said she had a boyfriend... How odd. "I'm Myles," Their eyes were locked for a long moment. For some reason it made me furious. Maybe it was because I hated Myles, maybe it was because my best friend was making goo goo eyes at him. Whatever the reason, I was mad.
I grabbed Malinda's arm, but trying with all my might to pull her away from the heathen, but it wasn't good enough. She didn't budge, not even an inch. Then she shot me a dirty look then glance sweetly back at Myles. "Malinda it's time to go." I said tugging on her arm again. She pulled her arm away violently, "What is wrong with you?! Stop acting like this!" She said in a horse whisper. Stop the way I'm acting! How dare she say that to me. She told me he sounded like a psycho and to stay away from him. And yet here she was batting her eyes and giggling at everything distasteful word that oozed out from between his lips.

Myles, Eighteen.

When I got back down stairs Malinda was still talking. I stood in the doorway for a moment, then with a heavy sigh, went in. "So what do you want to do today?" I asked, interrupting her in mid-sentence. "I was thinking we could stay-" "I think we should go to the mall or something. It'll be so much fun. We can catch up, do a little shoping, and maybe see some people we know." We know? Right... more like you remember, I hate.
"I'm feeling a little bloated from the juice, do you want to take a walk before we go?" I agreed reluctantly. Our walked started slowly, her chattering away. We past the path to my favorite spot by the tree, and then the path to the pond. She has ended her story and we walked in silence. How awkward it all was. I might as well have been walking next to a complete stranger. I had to put in an effort though. I didn't want her to think I had changed for the worse. "How does it feel to be back?" I asked her, glancing over at her. "It feels good. I missed all of this. The air, the trees, the leafs, I even missed you." She said with a short laugh and then bumped me with her arm in a joking manner. I smiled, shaking my head. "You missed this? Your crazy, I think the city has corrupted you." I said smirking at the end.